Life Lessons
by FMAvatard
Summary: The future is coming up fast for the Iwatobi Swim Club. Adult situations, mild language.
1. Chapter 1

_July, 2014_

The sun was burning, the cicadas were noisy, and the ice cream was sweet, sticky as it dripped slowly down its stick into skin. Haruka Nanase quietly switched hands and licked the blue raspberry drippings off of his right thumb, ignoring the gentle chuckle coming from beside him.

Makoto Tachibana watched Haruka with a smile, his gaze turning back to the ocean, where the waves crashed with a gentle strength against the sand. A blonde boy was out there, splashing another boy rather violently and laughing a bit too hard to be completely innocent. Desperate cries of "Nagisa, I can't _see_!" could be heard even from where the two best friends sat under the umbrella, which was a ways away from the water.

The boys had decided a trip to the beach would be a splendid way to start their summer vacation, and in Haruka and Makoto's case, their last summer vacation of high school. The spring semester had started off well with Nagisa and Rei being ecstatic about becoming upperclassmen. The swim club kept it's usual business, only now they had much friendly meets with Samezuka, and thus, a much happier Rin Matsuoka. Gou was happy to see her big brother more often, and seeing her smile pretty much made everyone happier in the long-term.

Rei had improved immensely with his butterfly stroke, so much so that he'd almost beaten Rin in a joint practice. _Almost_. The red-haired teen had been just as shell-shocked as Rei had been, despite having won. All that practicing had paid off. Rin had clucked his tongue, admitting that he was actually fairly impressed.

The weeks passed happily, and now summer break had arrived. Haruka wasn't swimming, and the reason for that was because he was sunburned. Makoto wasn't allowing him to go back out there, not for awhile. They were in the shade of a pale blue umbrella, watching Nagisa gleefully harass poor Rei on this beautiful first day of the season. Haruka had been swimming earlier, but it had been immediately upon arrival, before anyone else had even settled their belongings yet. No sunscreen.

He winced almost unnoticeably at the pain, however, nothing got past Makoto. The brunette reached into their beach bag and passed his friend a bottle of aloe gel; of course he'd anticipated this. Haruka wordlessly accepted it, but just the way he'd taken the bottle, a gentle grip, just a bit slowly, Makoto knew his friend might as well have said "Thank you." He smiled again, sighing lightly as the ocean breeze rustled their hair, the scent of salt in the air. A new smell, that of the aloe, tinged his nose as Haruka began applying it to his sunburn.

"It's really been a year, hasn't it?"

"Mm."

Haruka had indeed opened up after the relay with Rin, but old habits died hard, or maybe it was just Makoto. After years upon years of virtually communicating through eye contact or gestures, perhaps he'd just found it unnecessary to talk. Why bother when Makoto could read him like a book, and vice-versa?

His friend laughed at the answer, stopping and pointing at Haruka's back, his other hand open in invitation. The black-haired boy nodded and passed the bottle back, leaning forward slightly so that his friend could treat the more severe area. Makoto put a large gob of the gel on his palm before cautiously spreading it over the burn, eyes flicking to Haruka to gauge him for any excessive pain. Haruka remained still, which was no real indicator, but his friend continued on. If something were wrong, he'd know.

They didn't _need_ to speak to convey themselves. That was just the way things were.

After a moment, the aloe was spread. Makoto retrieved his own ice cream from it's safe spot (in a cup that was half buried in sand) and continued eating it. Haruka sat with his knees to his chest, staring at the sea as if it was the most precious thing in the world, and he'd been torn from it.

Makoto knew his friend was annoyed, but it was for the best. Haruka knew that, too, but he was just too stubborn to admit it.

"Time's really flying by, isn't it? It's a little scary, when you think about it."

Makoto broke the silence again, laughing a bit afterward. Haruka only nodded, but of course he'd been thinking about the future, too. He and Makoto were seniors now. This time next next year, they would be graduates. Off to college, probably _in_ college, if they wanted to be. Rei and Nagisa would be seniors then, probably leading the swim team, if things went right...and then what?

"No matter what we end up doing, we'll all keep in touch."

Haruka looked over as Makoto spoke, only this time his friend was looking directly at him rather than their friends at play. Once again, he'd known exactly what Haruka was thinking. It was so annoying...

...yet so helpful.

They didn't speak anymore after that. The first day of summer flew by, and from there, the subsequent days flew by. The boys more or less swam everyday, training for the next big competition. Rin made an appearance at one or two festivals and all would be well, with fun being the most important priority. Of course, no matter the festivities, no matter the occasion, and especially when they returned to school in the fall, the topic would always turn to the future.

Imminent.

Haruka rarely participated in the conversations, though he listened. Rin was still deadset on joining an Olympic team. Nagisa thought that he'd like to study penguins in Antarctica. Rei said he wasn't quite certain yet, which was fine; he had time. Then one day, during a rather brisk walk in Autumn, Makoto spoke his desires to Haruka.

"I want to teach."

The answer didn't confuse Haruka so much as it shocked him. It made perfect sense; Ren and Ran had given his friend the patience of a saint, not to mention helping Rei last year in the pool. Makoto would make a terrific teacher.

...a teacher...

And Haruka didn't know what he wanted to do yet. He'd had time, loads of time, and yet nothing seemed...good enough. Business didn't suit him, and professional athleticism wouldn't do for him. Swimming was wonderful, but only with the right people...

...then what would Haruka be doing this time next year? What would he be studying? Would he be studying? Nagisa wanted to be with penguins, and Rin would probably be in the Olympics...Makoto would be teaching. Rei was undecided, but he'd surely figure something out...

After the walk, Haru had gone home and made himself a hot bath. He sank into the tub, letting the water pool over his stomach and chest until he was completely submerged. The ceiling rippled above, and he wondered why there was a pain in his chest. The water helped, though, and soon it was gone. He looked out at the night sky, unsurprised to see that snow had begun to fall.

. . . .

_December, 2014_

The time flew startlingly, and soon it was Christmas Eve. Due to a blizzard that had grounded their plane, Haruka's parents had called Makoto's asking if they would take their son in for the holiday, to which the Tachibana's welcomed Haruka into their home with open arms, particularly the twins with cries of "Big Brother Haru came to play!" Makoto smiled, stifling a laugh as his siblings nearly tackled his friend to ground.

"Come on, now, off Big Brother Haru. Mom's making cookies, remember?"

The twins flew from Haru almost if they'd been pulled away by a mysterious force, and they soon bolted to the kitchen to help their mother with Christmas-time sweets.

"I got the new 'Animal Crossing Deep Sea.' Want to play?"

Haruka nodded and followed Makoto to his room. The brunette quietly put on his glasses and booted up his console, a happy recorder tune playing as waves splashed across the screen.

Haruka hadn't been eased about the future at all. He'd found himself swimming more and more, talking less and less, and more less reverting to his old self. Makoto had been acting strangely, too, at least for the past three days.

Playing video games with his best friend was a good way to spend Christmas Eve, though, Haruka supposed. He wondered how everyone else was doing, but he didn't have to wonder long for an answer. Nagisa had sent a text that consisted only of an image of he and Rei under a mistletoe, Nagisa's lips puckered ridiculously while Rei was red as a cherry and pushing him away. God, Haru could swear he heard the panicked screaming of "IT'S NOT BEAUTIFUL" from here. Makoto had laughed, and Haruka cracked a smile.

He was surprised to receive a text from Rin, a simple "Merry Christmas." Haruka sent just the same back. Nothing came after that, and that was fine.

Ren and Ran had sworn on their very lives that they would stay up to see Santa Claus, which in children's terms meant they had crashed on the sofa within thirty minutes of making their oath.

...and Makoto was still being weird. He'd talk, and it would be normal, but even then, something felt off. There was something in his tone, something in the way he was playing the game, pressing the buttons. Sometimes he'd stop, as if he were going to say something, and then continue playing. Haruka knew him too well. He wasn't going to ask, though. Makoto would talk when he needed to.

After a few hours, a few sodas, and a few early Christmas cookies, the boys went to bed. Makoto's bed had gotten smaller over the years, or rather, they had gotten bigger. They were both comfortably able to lay on their backs, at least. The moon hit the snow outside in a way that it shone into the room, and even though it was midnight, Haruka could tell everything apart. Of course, he'd committed this room to memory so well he could navigate it in pitch blackness. He was pretty much an adopted child of the Tachibana's, with how often he'd stayed over and hung out over the years. He'd grown used to this atmosphere, this second home. He'd accidentally called Makoto's mother "Mom" once, and it had roused a gentle laugh and the rare sight that was an embarrassed Haruka. Ren and Ran treated him like another big brother. He'd grown used to the warmth by his side, Makoto. He'd grown so accustomed to Makoto by his side in almost _all_ things, that it almost seemed unnatural when he was gone.

They lay in silence, the snow falling outside gently. For a moment, Haruka had actually been fooled into thinking his friend had fallen asleep, that is, until Makoto spoke and shattered the silent night.

"I'm moving to Kyoto after graduation."

His voice was soft, hardly above a whisper. Even though his friend's tone was calm, Haruka could swear he could hear Makoto's heart pounding in his chest.

...no...that was his own heart...

"There's a university there, and I got accepted. They...there's a really good educational program."

Makoto was answered with silence, and in that silence, Haruka's mental process, months of buildup and tension, all came to a peak.

He'd known. Haruka had known for years this would happen, of course it would; people graduated and moved and got jobs and started families, that was the natural course of things. He'd known one day he and Makoto would go different ways. Makoto was brilliant, with a bright future ahead. A teacher? He'd be the best in Japan. His students would go on to become doctors and lawyers and they'd say "It's all thanks Mr. Tachibana." He'd be well-respected and loved by the community and he'd probably find-

...

It was at a third thought that Haruka's grip on the bedsheets tightened.

"...Haru? Are-"

"I'm going out for a run."

He threw the blankets from his body and walked quickly to the door, ignoring his bewildered friend behind him. He needed out of here. He needed away.

"Wh-..._now_!? It's _midnight_! And it's sno-..._Haru_!"

Haruka was already out the door into the freezing night as he heard Makoto chasing after him. He'd slipped on his shoes without socks and took to jogging. The sound of Makoto echoing behind him was muffled in his ears, the wind and snow stinging his cheeks. Damn it, it was cold.

Without realizing it, he was grabbed from behind and turned around. An incredibly red-faced, panting Makoto stared down at him, with eyes that said "What the hell are you doing?" Haruka looked away in shame...or...or maybe it was fear. Or anger? Why would he be angry at Makoto?

He asked himself this question, even though he already knew the answer.

"...y-you're going to catch a c-cold..."

Makoto could've spoken for himself. He looked positively out of breath, the wind and cold probably having taken it out of him in the bolt he'd taken to catch up to his friend.

Haruka only reacted when he saw his friend's teeth chattering, and they calmly snuck their way back into the house. How they hadn't woken anyone up was a mystery, but perhaps it had something to do with the twins being heavy sleepers.

They were silent. Neither could tell what the other was thinking. Haruka hated it. Makoto was his best friend; he hated this feeling he had, this...awkwardness. He hated feeling angry at him, he hated feeling...alone.

Haruka felt alone.

The light was on, and Makoto had gotten three extra blankets, two to wrap around Haruka and one for himself. He'd taken to breathing on his friend's hands, trying to warm them even though he himself was cold as ice. They sat like that for awhile, cross-legged on the bed, Haruka's hands in Makoto's.

Surprisingly, Haruka was the one who spoke next.

"When will you start?"

Makoto looked up from his work, lips parted and his eyes a bit wide.

"Two months after graduation, so May..."

After another moment of silence, Makoto went back to breathing gently on Haruka's hands. Haruka couldn't read him at all. This was different than anything he'd ever seen, and he'd been with Makoto since pre-school.

They were only up for another thirty minutes. Makoto hadn't done anything special for himself regarding his chill and they went to bed. Makoto gave a tense "Good night," and Haru responded just the same. Five minutes passed, ten, another ten in total silence.

"...sorry."

Haruka spoke, but his apology fell on deaf ears. Makoto was asleep, breathing peacefully. Haruka sat up, watching his friend for a moment or two...he looked bothered, as if he were having an unpleasant dream. His cheeks were flushed from the cold, and even now his teeth were still chattering.

...their last Christmas as high-schoolers, and it'd ended up like this.

He lay back down, watching his friend and feeling the guilt rack higher and higher. He closed his eyes, forcing himself to sleep.

Makoto was leaving. Nagisa was leaving. Rin had already left once. Rei was definitely going somewhere.

Where would Haruka go? He couldn't stay in Iwatobi forever, at least, not without Makoto...half the reason he hadn't gone off with his parents was so that Makoto wouldn't be alone.

March was coming too fast. Graduation was in three months.

Makoto would go off to study education. He'd get a job in teaching. He'd meet new people, experience new things. And the thought that had made Haruka run out the door came back, only this time it made him feel sick to his stomach.

The thought of Makoto meeting someone special, spending time with them...smiling at them, sharing himself with them...it made Haruka horribly, _horribly_ jealous. He'd be replaced in the blink of an eye...

And he felt terrible for feeling jealous. Makoto could do whatever he wanted, he was nearly a grown man. He wanted his friend to be happy...Haruka thought that, but there was a voice inside his mind murmuring things, awful things. Makoto had said they'd all keep in touch, no matter what...but that couldn't be true. Everyone grew up. They couldn't relive this year over and over. They could certainly have reunions, of course, and talk about their new lives, but it wouldn't be the same.

His stomach churned as he pictured Makoto in the future, a well-respected teacher, and by his side, Haruka's imagination conjured a young woman, blushing gently, yet...she had no face. He was smiling at her. The images continued.

Makoto walking with her along the ocean.

Makoto coming home to her having cooked dinner.

Makoto knowing exactly what she thinks without having to ask.

Makoto...

Haruka more or less leaped from the bed and stumbled to the bathroom, face hovering over the toilet, breathing shakily. This was too much. He thought he might explode.

What the hell _was_ this? Everything was happening so fast. Too much. There was too much going on. He heaved a few times but nothing came up. After a few minutes, he left the bathroom and and headed back toward's his friend's room.

...his friend. They would still be friends, right? Even if Makoto got a job and-

He didn't think it. He refused to think it, or this time he really would throw up.

People could maintain friendships from high school. They did it all the time. Yes...nothing would change between he and Makoto. They would be the same forever, just...a bit farther away now. They could manage that.

...

Haruka thought this, but at the same time his heart was clenching.

He didn't want Makoto to leave.

He didn't want to be alone.

And for whatever reason, the thought of Makoto having someone else in his life made him feel ill.

To say Haruka Nanase fell sleep would be a lie. Rather, the boy tossed and turned for hours until finally, he somehow managed to tire himself out.


	2. Chapter 2

_Christmas, 2014_

It was a pure white Christmas in Iwatobi. The only other color that could be seen through all the snow was the vibrant, cold blue of the ocean, ever crashing against the sand. The skies were overcast, and the snow continued to come down fairly hard throughout the day.

Haruka and Makoto hadn't woken up on their own. No, that had been Ren and Ran's job at the absolute crack of dawn, both twins shouting excitedly over what day it was as they leaped onto the two teenagers. Haruka took most of the impact, but pretended like it hadn't hurt, whereas Makoto had grown so used to this treatment that he merely made a small "Oof" and smiled tiredly.

"We're awake, we're awake. Go out to the living room, alright? Haru and I will be there soon."

"Noooo, now, _now_! It's Christmas!"

The children began kicking their feet, whining and tugging on Haruka's sleeves. He watched them tiredly, ignoring Makoto's sheepish grin in his peripheral vision.

"Santa's probably started watching for next year..."

Haruka spoke his 'threat' softly,and the twins responded with a gasp. They quickly let go of the swimmer and hopped off the bed, scampering out to the living room in hopes that maybe Santa had been watching some other kids be naughty.

Makoto laughed and sat up, his joints popping gently as he stretched. He sneezed suddenly, and Haruka reached for a tissue and passed it off to his friend. Almost simultaneously a wash of guilt ran over him. If Makoto was sick, it was probably his fault, right? Running out in the snow like that...

"It'll be a shame when 'Santa' doesn't work anymore. How did you sleep?"

"Good enough."

It wasn't a complete lie. He'd slept after all, and it wasn't as if he was going to be doing anything strenuous today. If anything, today would consist of breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the Tachibana's, watching them open presents, and maybe a phone call to his own parents. Then he'd go back home...the day will have passed. So would the next day. They'd all pass, until, really, he'd have no real reason to come into this house again.

Makoto would be gone.

"Haru?"

He looked over to his friend, who was rubbing his eyes softly. Haruka had stayed over more times than he could count, so the sight of a sleepy Makoto wasn't new to him in the slightest.

"Merry Christmas."

Makoto blinked, a bit taken aback. After a moment, he smiled genuinely and nodded once, stifling a case of the sniffles.

"Merry Christmas, Haru."

Despite the conflicts darting about in Haruka's mind, he couldn't help but smile back.

. . .

From there, the day proceeded almost exactly as Haruka had predicted. The morning started off with the Tachibana children opening their presents. Makoto's mother had noticed immediately that her eldest son seemed under the weather, so Makoto was sitting a ways away from the younger children with a blanket over his shoulders and cup of hot tea. Again, Haruka felt rather guilty.

Ren and Ran were already bickering over sharing their new toys while Makoto held up a horizontal striped shirt, green and white, thanking his mother kindly. Mrs. Tachibana then looked in Haruka's direction and pointed gently under the Christmas tree, where a lone present wrapped in shiny blue paper lied in wait.

It contained a navy blue shirt, the same material as Makoto's, but with a white polka-dot pattern. The eldest son knew just how grateful Haruka was (the glimmer in his eyes told all) before the houseguest had said, "Thank you very much." Makoto's mother smiled brightly, and it was easy to see where her oldest son got it from.

"Your mother and father said they had a few things for you, but I didn't want you to go without at least one gift on Christmas day. To be honest, I bought at the same time as Makoto's. I had a feeling you'd like it. You're very welcome, dear."

Haruka nodded, thanking her again as he folded up his new shirt neatly. He wouldn't be able to wear it until Spring, not without a jacket at least, but it was wonderful. He glanced up to see Makoto watching him with a smile, eyes and nose just bit puffy. The brunette made a small sound of happiness, and he went back to his own shirt, as well some various games and cards from relatives. Haruka watched him for a moment before smiling softly.

The Tachibana's were a loving, warm family, and one of the few groups of people Haruka felt completely comfortable around. Ren and Ran were like his own siblings at this point (and the twins certainly agreed), Mr. and Mrs. Tachibana were some of the kindest adults he'd ever met, more than willing to help Haruka in any way, and Makoto...well, Makoto was Makoto. They'd been together since...God, how long had it been now? At least pre-school, so fifteen years? Maybe sixteen? Sixteen years of connecting, sharing fears, helping through them, overcoming obstacles, friendship, opening up to others, in Haruka's case

...

...sixteen _years_...

Somehow, he knew he'd still be welcome here even after Makoto left.

Now all he had to do was come to terms with that fact...

. . .

The snow fell even harder throughout the afternoon and evening, so much so that Mrs. Tachibana made the decision to keep her children indoors.

"Look what happened to you brother, and he didn't even go outside. You don't want to get sick, too, do you?

The resulting groan of "But we _won't_ get sick!" made Haruka look over to his friend, who looked a bit flushed in the face, though he was smiling.

"Makoto, dear, why don't you go rest?"

Makoto's mother shuffled through a drawer until she found a small surgical mask and then handed it to her son. Makoto took it gently and strapped it onto his face, the twins giggling softly behind their hands.

"Haruka, sweetie, you're welcome to stay over again. I don't want you alone on Christmas. Do you want one, too?"

She extended another mask, to which Haruka politely declined, but he received one anyway.

"If you're going to sleep in Makoto's room, it'd be for the best. I won't settle for you on the sofa, and I certainly wouldn't ask you to share with Ren and Ran."

This caused the twins to explode with cries of "Can Big Brother Haru sleep with us!?" and "We'll be good!" Makoto's mother spoke an outright "No," and sent them on their way to their new toys.

Makoto turned to Haru, and Haru could tell just from his eyes that he was smiling, and also that he was tired. It was time to start winding down, it seemed.

The boys went off to Makoto's room, masks on, and sat for awhile, enjoying the quiet. It didn't take long for Makoto to get up and start a new game, and the two remained quiet for some time. Haruka's thumb would linger over the 'Start' button for moments at a time, itching to press it and say something, but he'd just continue playing as normal.

Suddenly the game paused, and Makoto turned around to look at him from his bundles of blankets on the floor.

"I'm sorry."

Haruka blinked. What on earth was Makoto sorry for?

"Last night...I shouldn't have said so much. I didn't mean to surprise you like that...sorry, Haru."

He was smiling under that mask, but Haruka could see something else there...something wasn't right. The swimmer stared blankly at his friend before murmuring "It's fine."

"...I'm sorry you're sick."

Makoto's eyes widened. Even though it'd been a year, he still hadn't gotten used to Haruka expressing himself. He didn't let it show for long though, and he smiled again. A silent 'thank you.' Haruka could see that he wasn't being blamed.

The game's music returned suddenly as Makoto unpaused, and the two went back to playing.

Haruka felt ashamed of himself. He'd gotten Makoto sick, he'd made Makoto feel bad about wanting to go after his dreams, and worst of all, he'd made Makoto feel bad _for Haruka_. Haruka was the one _causing_ all this trouble; Ran and Ren hadn't gotten to play in the snow today, Makoto's mother was worried about illness...

Haruka paused the game, which made Makoto turn around, a rather surprised look in his eyes. A moment passed as a million words flew through Haruka's mind, more apologies, his _real_ thoughts on the matter of his best friend leaving, something, anything.

He pressed 'Start,' resuming the game and breaking eye contact with his friend. There was only so much he could say and do at once without getting embarrassed.

"...you'll be a good teacher."

That would have to do, at least for now. He didn't need to look at Makoto to know exactly what he looked like...just like before, the last time he'd opened up. Makoto probably...no, not probably. There wasn't a doubt that Makoto looked astonished right now.

The next thing Haruka heard was the musical sound of his friend's tired laughter filling the room. He tensed up immediately, and the urge to go for a run filled him again, but he wouldn't. Not again.

How many more times would he hear that laugh before it was gone?

The game was paused again, only this time for good as Makoto saved and turned off the console. He turned to Haruka, smiling with his eyes.

"We should get to bed."

Haruka nodded and began straightening out the covers, already sitting on the mattress, as it was his preferred spot for game-playing. He stood, not even having to gesture for Makoto to take his spot before the other boy moved to it. Haruka watched his friend get comfortable, waiting until Makoto was fully settled before going to the light switch. Tonight's moon was nearly the same, only this time with even more snow to reflect into the room. He quietly stepped towards the bed, slipping under the covers and getting comfortable with as little noise as possible. Makoto was breathing slowly, muffled a bit by the mask...was he asleep already?

Haruka sighed, staring at the ceiling. It'd been about twenty-four hours since Makoto's bombshell...if he could call it that. Was it _really_ that horrible an event? Makoto would be leaving, but he'd be leaving to be successful...that was a good thing. The best thing, really.

...he was telling himself the same things over and over again. Truth be told, his real feelings were rather selfish.

What would he do when Makoto was gone? Would Haruka manage to get by? They'd been together almost their entire lives...if it weren't for Makoto, he wouldn't have joined the Iwatobi Swim Club back in elementary school. He would've never met Rin, or Nagisa, definitely not Rei.

...where would Haruka _be_ today without Makoto? With his mother and father in Tokyo? Would he even be a swimmer?

Another thought struck, this one rather painful when he considered his other friends; who would Haruka swim with now? He certainly couldn't use the high school pools anymore. Graduates couldn't just waltz in claiming 'joint practice.' And Makoto would be gone...even Rin would be off somewhere doing something. Nagisa and Rei would still be in school...

"Haru...?"

Haruka turned his head, flinching slightly at what he saw. Makoto had turned to face him at some point; Haruka had been so lost in his own thoughts he hadn't even noticed. His friend looked exhausted, his eyes hardly open and his cheeks flushed, and his voice was sore. Even in the dark, Haruka could see the cold beads of sweat on Makoto's forehead, and he nearly acted upon a sudden overwhelming need to wipe it away. He couldn't see his friend's mouth, but he could certainly hear Makoto breathing a bit harder than normal.

Guilt. Total guilt.

Haruka waited for Makoto to say more; clearly he had something to say. Something he'd wanted to look directly at Haruka for. That wasn't exactly a thing they tended to do, at least not while in bed, considering how close they were already; being face-to-face would put them only inches away from one another, which was exactly what was happening now. Haruka was so consumed by Makoto's illness, he just couldn't look away.

Makoto panted for a few more moments, eyes shifting, examine his friend's expression before slowly...quietly...he fell asleep. Just like that. Haruka stared at him, almost in shock. What the _hell_ was that!? He had no place to be frustrated, but Makoto had been about to say something, and he'd just fallen asleep!?

Haruka found he couldn't look away now because...he just couldn't look away. Makoto was sleeping less than four inches from his face, which wasn't unusual at all, but Haruka had never taken the chance to, for lack of a better word, observe him. There had been that time a year ago where Makoto had waited up for him after he'd lost the race with Rin, but that had been just him. Haru had needed to speak to him then; this was Makoto sleeping as he should be, minus being ill.

. . .

He gently ghosted his sleeve over Makoto's forehead, wiping the sweat from his brow. His friend flinched very slightly, but didn't wake up. Haruka breathed a silent sigh of relief, being careful not to breathe too hard, lest that bother Makoto, too

...Rei would probably think that Makoto slept beautifully. Even with the mask covering most his face, and even with his soft, shallow breaths, something about Makoto's sleeping face was very...enrapturing. His expression was completely relaxed, and if it weren't for his sniffles, Haruka knew he'd be breathing much more softly. Makoto didn't snore; even hearing him pant like this was rather 'noisy' for him, but that was fine. It was perfectly human. He couldn't see his friend's mouth what with the mask, but he knew his lips would parted just slightly.

...Rei would definitely think that Makoto was beautiful when he slept. Probably the most beautiful person..

"Haru..."

Haruka stiffened as Makoto suddenly sighed his name breathlessly, stirring slightly in his sleep before falling still and silent once again.

. . .

Damn it all.

He just needed to sleep. No more thinking about guilt or the future or what could have been, nothing like that. Haruka forced himself to turn back to the ceiling, breaking his gaze with Makoto and sighing deeply, the sound making a slight noise against his own mask.

This was stupid.

. . .

_March, 2015_

Another stupid thing was how the time suddenly decided to pick up tempo. Christmas turned to New Years (yet another night at the Tachibana's, only this time with a much healthier Makoto), New Years turned to Valentine's Day (Nagisa had made everyone chocolate; it was so awful and bitter, but only Rei had had the heart to eat every last bite), and Valentine's Day turned to White Day (Nagisa received quite the haul from his friends).

Now it was a week from graduation. The girls were already feeling nostalgic and teary-eyed while the boys were masking their feelings by talking about how they couldn't wait to get out of the small town. The Swim Club held daily meetings, even though it was far too early in the year to actually swim. Normally that wouldn't have stopped Haruka, but Makoto had gently reminded him that being sick for graduation wouldn't be a good thing at all.

Rather, the meetings were about the future. Gou had been having the boys sit in a semi-circle near the edge of the pool, far enough to be safe, but close enough for Haruka to at least dip his hand in the water every so often. Ms. Amakata was off in her shaded chair, par usual. They would discuss plans for the next competition, new training regimens for Nagisa and Rei, and at one point a few days ago, Nagisa had hung back to speak to Gou in private.

Today was the last day for senior students. When the bell rang at the end of the day, all graduates would officially be off the roster and would begin preparations for their graduation ceremony. Nagisa, Rei, and Gou still had a few more days. This would be Haruka and Makoto's last day as high-schoolers.

The manager looked as if she was fighting tears as she avoided looking directly at Haruka and Makoto. She looked skyward suddenly, choosing to focus on no one in particular. Rei and Nagisa gave each other a worried look; the latter himself wasn't exactly in the best shape either.

"As we all know...this is the last meeting the Iwatobi Swim Club will have with it's Captain and Vice Captain."

Her voice hitched for a moment, and everyone was dead quiet as they waited for her to continue. Saying goodbye to friends was one thing, but she'd attended _Samezuka's_ graduation ceremony only two days ago. Rin was a graduate now, already talking about moving to Tokyo to continue training for the Olympics. There wasn't any doubt that Gou was feeling just a bit overwhelmed.

"Today, we will be saying goodbye, as well as choosing the new Captain."

Haruka watched her silently, then looked over to Makoto. His friend was smiling, yes, but it looked something bittersweet, an expression that matched Nagisa's. Rei looked as if he might burst into tears at any moment. Even from a distance, Ms. Amakata seemed blue. She stood from her chair, umbrella in hand, and wandered over to the students, watching silently from her shadow.

This somber attitude wasn't like them at all. Nagisa should be laughing, pushing Rei into the pool. Gou should be timing them. Makoto...

"_Farewell, Haruka Nanase! Makoto Tachibana_!"

Gou shouted very suddenly, eyes shut as her voice hitched again. Everyone flinched, but no one reprimanded her for startling them. Nagisa was the first to react, blubbering Haruka and Makoto's respective nicknames before launching himself over in a hug. Rei did the same, but less sporadically, a bit more cautious. Gou joined the jumble of bodies, sobbing quietly while Ms. Amakata dropped her umbrella and embraced them all gently, murmuring motherly "There there's" and "It's alright's" while also going misty-eyed. This was her first group, after all.

Haruka let himself be hugged by everyone, feeling a bit bad that he wasn't letting himself be affected. He was going to miss them, yes. There would probably be days he would miss everyone terribly. Right now, though, it just...it didn't seem real. None of this seemed real.

Makoto was laughing quietly, eyes closed and doing his best to hug everyone despite being in the epicenter of this tangled mess. Haruka looked to him, knowing that his friend was welling up, too.

...was something just wrong with him?

Finally, they all unlatched from one another. Rei was a hiccuping mess, which Nagisa teased him lightly for even though there were also tears in the blonde's own eyes. Ms. Amakata was still trying to calm Gou down, stooped down to her level and rubbing her back a bit. Makoto spoke gently, using the perfect tone for anyone in distress.

"Gou. Would you like me to-?"

"Mm-hm"

Gou nodded immediately, tucking her knees close to her chest. Makoto smiled, looking over to Nagisa and Rei. The two underclassmen tensed...or at least Rei did. Nagisa's gaze was fixed on his friend. Makoto cleared his throat, fighting a small bit of emotion, and spoke.

"After speaking with Gou, evaluating performance, drive, and talent, as well as possession of pure fighting spirit...we've reached a decision."

There were a few beats of silence before he spoke again. Gou and Rei were fixated on the ground. Haruka stared at Makoto, wondering how he managed to keep himself together. Makoto wasn't a crybaby, but in cases like this, he tended to get emotional. He commanded so much authority, and yet he was still one of the kindest people he'd ever met.

"Rei Ryugazaki, as the Captain of the Iwatobi Swim Club, do you promise to uphold the-

"_What_!?"

Rei nearly screamed in disbelief, and Nagisa held back a laugh. Makoto smiled warmly.

"You've improved the most out of all of us, and you've shown real determination in swimming. It only makes sense."

"You deserve it the most, Rei-chan."

Rei's dumbfounded gaze turned to Nagisa beside him, who was smiling sheepishly, tears welled up in his eyes. He'd spoken so honestly...

Makoto continued, watching Rei's shock turn to tears, his shoulders shaking from holding back.

"Do you promise to uphold the standards and rules for all future members?"

"Y-yes."

"Do you promise to lead all future members with patience and understanding?"

"I do."

"Do you promise to let the Vice Captain be in charge for a whole day?"

"I d-..._N-Nagisa_!"

The blonde laughed through the quiet tears streaming down his face. It had been worth a shot. Gou had ended up giggling, so it ended up being worth quite a lot more. Makoto grinned, happy to have a lighter mood now. Haruka watched, utterly amazed at the display his friends were giving.

"Do your best then, Captain Rei."

Rei shifted his sitting and bowed deeply, head nearly touching the concrete as he shouted that yes, he would do his best as the new Captain of the Iwatobi Swim Club. Nagisa tackled him, shouting about the he, as the Vice Captain, would also do his best to make sure Rei wouldn't go power-hungry, to which the new Captain exclaimed that that wouldn't happen. Makoto laughed, Gou giggled again, and even Haruka cracked a smile.

...there. Things seemed a bit normal.

It would on him the next morning, however, that there was no school, just graduation practice. He'd have the revelation, of course, that he wouldn't going to get to swim with Captain Rei and Vice Captain Nagisa.

And the damning final thought as he walked on stage one week later and received his diploma, cameras flashing from the Tachbana's and his own parents, Makoto in line a ways behind him smiling brightly, proudly, was that all of this...everything was now his past.

Memories.

Fun, high-school memories.

He was a high school graduate.

He'd at least have Makoto for two more months.

And then...

. . .

...and then what?


End file.
